If you’ve tracked your investments over the last few years, you’ve enjoyed the bull market growth since the Great Recession of the late 2000’s. The housing market has recovered in many areas, salaries are growing again, and some businesses are even handing out bonuses.
People have become more focused on wiping out debt and growing their net worth. They better understand financial “tough times” and are more prepared for the next downturn. Consumer spending is up, and jobless claims are at an all-time low. People are enjoying life and envisioning brighter financial futures.
It would be a mistake to think that everyone sees through those rose-colored glasses though. As some people’s portfolios grew by double digits, others saw no significant pay increase – let alone investment growth. Many people actually sunk deeper into debt and didn’t ride the “wave” of fiscal recovery this decade.
More to the Story
In reality, wealth gaps between upper-income families and those in middle or lower-income families are at the highest levels recorded. And the differences in the lives of children living in families of disparate incomes has grown too.
Some kids grow up in beautiful homes, take nice vacations, participate in extracurricular activities, have access to all kinds of technology and other support such as tutors.
Others walk home from school through crime-ridden neighborhoods to homes where they may have little food and no access to technology or the internet to do homework. And there are undoubtedly many children whose lives fall in between these two ends of the financial continuum.
We need to remember parents love their children, no matter their financial situation. It may seem like a lack of love or caring, but parents who are financially challenged have less time and fewer resources to invest in their kids.
The kids are then less prepared for school and work. And there can be long-term impacts on health and learning, which can contribute to generational poverty.
How big of a problem is poverty?
Based on 2016 U.S.Census Bureau data, the Center for Poverty Research at UC Davis reported that 43.1 million Americans lived in poverty. But since this is census data, that number didn’t even include many homeless or incarcerated people. And 18.5 million of those people live in deep poverty.
Deep poverty for a family of four with two children was defined as earning less than $12,169.50 in 2016. Black or Hispanic people were most likely to be in deep poverty, and 8.2 percent of all children lived in deep poverty that year.
Why Would I Want to Help My Kids Understand Poverty?
Helping children understand different social classes and the struggles of those in poverty helps them develop empathy. It’s important for children to understand families are different and where they live, what they own, and what they value differs too.
Natural conversations about people who have less can take place as children become less egocentric and begin considering the needs of others. If you’ve taken a psychology class, you might remember this would be between the ages of 7-11 as kids enter Piaget’s concrete operational stage.
Drawbacks to Teaching Kids About Poverty
Teaching kids about poverty can be challenging. Children as young as 5 are introduced to different socio-economic levels at school.
They may hear from another child that they are moving because their parents don’t have enough money to pay the rent. And they may learn kids eat free breakfast and lunch at school because their’s not enough money at home to pay for food.
Maybe you drive or walk past homeless people who are asking for money each day. Even young children can sense that people are not having their basic needs met and they may begin to worry that the same thing could happen to them.
It’s important we help teach children about poverty without confusing them or creating anxiety about this complex topic. Here are some ways you can talk to kids about poverty without creating unnecessary fear or worry.
Explaining Poverty Without Upsetting your Children
It’s important to find a balance in talking about the challenges people in poverty face, without sharing some of the potentially distressing details. Before you talk to your kids about poverty, consider their age, what they have been exposed to, and their level of social and emotional development.
Here are six things to consider as you begin thinking about this challenging topic.
Be Prepared.
Sooner or later, financial differences between families or conversations about “poor” people will happen. It’s important to know your values may be communicated to your child in these discussions or interactions.
If you place blame on people or ignore their situation, you may be sending messages to your child that people are “bad” or you don’t care that others may be in need.
Think about the message you want to share and about how involved you want to be. Tell your child about the things you do to help others. What you can do as a family to support those in need. And what your limits are in being able to help people.
Remember to inform them there are other people helping and many community organizations help struggling people too.
Keep It In Context.
To help your child understand poverty, bring up the topic naturally. If you’re in the car and see a panhandler with a sign asking for money, talk to your child about the situation while you are in the car.
Ask if they noticed the person and if they understand why they might be asking for money. This will allow you to clear up any misconceptions your child may have.
Have Age-Appropriate Conversations.
Books like Yardsticks by Chip Wood, describe common developmental traits of children at different ages. Understanding more about your child’s level of development will help you decide the type and amount of conversation that would be most helpful in terms of discussing topics like hunger, poverty, and social class differences.

Avoid stereotypes.
One thing to consider is kids may quickly categorize people into groups based on wealth. They may think about people as “poor” or “rich” and compare them to one another and themselves. They even make assumptions about people’s traits based on those categories.
A 2012 study reported first-graders think of wealthy individuals as more competent than poor individuals. Children may relate positive traits (academic, social, and emotional) to those who have more. If they begin to think of people in different socio-economic classes as being fundamentally different from them, they may form prejudices about that group.
Acknowledge their feelings.
Your child may be upset to learn there are people who don’t have homes. Or who go hungry each day. They may cry or be angry about a friend at school who has to move because they are being evicted from their apartment.
Your child is expressing empathy, and it is important to recognize and nurture those feelings. This is also a time to share a message of hope. You can begin discussing the importance of taking responsibility to help others and ways they can do that even as a child.
Help them take action.
You can’t pay a family’s rent each month to keep your child’s friend in school and giving homeless people money each day isn’t the answer to teaching your child about poverty.
One thing you can do is teach your kids about different charities and about how donations work to help those in need. If you’ve taught your kids about money and they have an amount of money set aside to give, this is a great time to help your child decide how they would like to help.
At the holidays, you may see “giving trees” where you can choose a tag, and your child can use the money they saved to shop for a present for those in need. You can also talk to your children about charities like the United Way, Salvation Army, Feeding America, or Habitat for Humanity to name just a few.
Showing your child a variety of charities will help them understand the different challenges individuals face and how people come together to try to help those who are less fortunate. This also helps children develop humility and a grateful attitude about what they have.
You may also want to show your child that donating time, in addition to financial resources is another way to help people. Kids will quickly learn service, caring, and kindness can make a big difference to those in financial need.
The Topic Won’t Go Away
As your children get older, revisit this topic and discuss it in more meaningful ways.
Continue to work to find a balance between helping build empathy, while not making kids feel sorry for what they have. And talk to your child about bullying and explain how children who come from poverty can be the targets of kids who seek power at school.
If you are looking for more resources to learn about poverty and how to talk to your kids about it, you’ll find some below. Also, check with the librarian at your local library or your child’s school for additional options.
Recommended Resources:
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Chris @ Mindful Explorer says
I think it is important to be self aware ourselves of all that is around us and everyone that makes up our communities. This is equally important for our children as we foster their development into being mindful citizens in this isolated world that is growing despite being more connected than ever.
MoneyWomen says
Agreed. So many people are surrounded by others or digitally connected to thousands, yet still feel so alone. Learning to pause more and look around ourselves can be extremely eye opening. Thanks for the comment, Chris.
Solitary Diner says
While I agree with the importance of a post like this, I think it misses two huge things that people who care about poverty should be doing: 1) voting for politicians who will make policy changes that benefit poor people and 2) supporting businesses and workplaces that doing exploit low income earners (and boycotting those that don’t). While charity can have its role, it’s often done by people who want to feel good about “doing something to help poor people” and it often doesn’t address the huge systemic issues that keep people poor.
MoneyWomen says
We can see your point for sure. While this post is directed at teaching young children who are not yet voting or making shopping decisions, we agree some discussions with them about these topics is a great start. Like why we vote the way we do or shop at the stores and frequent businesses that we do. Thanks for the comment SD.
Vicki says
While I agree with your comments that these are things adults should be doing (and teaching their older children), this article wasn’t specifically focused on that. Little kids don’t vote for politicians or support businesses. But as they grow up, having these discussions with them can be very important.
The FIIntrovert says
There is a man outside our building who I talk to every day. I bring him toiletries, food, chapstick, umbrellas – really anything that we get for free at a conference that I think will be useful to him without burdening him.
Aside from that, I really don’t know how to help him. I think that part of a humanities education would be for us to recognize and understand different stages of poverty and give US the skills to help them.
For example, today he said he thinks that a grocery chain didn’t hire him because he didn’t have an address in our metro area. So…how does a person help him solve that? Should I be letting him us my home address (do I open us up to a visit – yes potentially)? Do I give him my business card and work address?
Little things like this. If we were trained better, maybe we could help more efficiently to lift some people out who just need a couple of things to go their way in order to land a job.
Others, I understand, need professional help and resources for addiction, etc. That is not what I am talking about. What if we all knew the five things that someone who is homeless needed to get a job: a prepaid phone, an address at post office or FedEx, toiletries, access to laundry, etc. I don’t know if that is it but something like that.
MoneyWomen says
Great questions, Drew. We’ll definitely do some research to see what information we can put together. In many areas there are Churches, shelters, and job training organizations that can help with these thing. But you make a great point about people being educated to know what help is out there so they can help those in need. Thanks for the comment!
Joe @ Retire by 40 says
We live in downtown Portland and there are many homeless people around. Our home is modest and we live comfortable lives. It’s hard to talk about poverty and homelessness because we all have our biases.
For now, we just tell our kid to study hard in school so he can support himself. It’ll get more complicated later as he gets older. Truthfully, it’s hard to be sympathetic when they cause so many problems around our neighborhood.
Erith says
I only really understood poverty when I went to China about 20 years ago, and saw people sitting on the side of the road near Xian holding signs, or just the tools themselves. When I asked our guide about a man holding a sign with characters on it – I was told that the man was advertising that he could write. One man had a bicycle tyre and a basin, he mended bicycle tyres. Essentially you were hired for one job, or one day’s work, and without that, no money for food.
We met a beach seller in St Lucia who made a living selling jewellery to tourists. After a few conversations, and discussions about health service, his comment was – if you can’t afford the care, you could lose a child. How hard is that? At least that doesn’t happen in the UK, God Bless the NHS. It might not be perfect, but at least you know that you can turn up at a GP or a hospital and you will be taken care of.
I went to India about 5 years ago, and I was humbled as we sat in our tourist mini-bus which had just had a flat tyre. Our driver enlisted help from a couple of the locals. As we looked around us, there was 1 stand-pipe serving a small ‘township’ of shacks with sacking as a door covering. Our driver, I suspect paid them a few rupees to help lift the van (we never had to get out!), but not enough for a day’s food. Certainly not European rates!
That’s poverty!
Not what we consider poverty – no access to broadband (use your local library), no access to mobile phones, (cheap pay as you go or use email – see library above…),
Jennifer says
Great conversation. I’m planning to write something about my approach, as I’m just getting there with my kids (my eldest child is 7). Love that you cited The Hundred Dresses- fantastic book and it prompted some good conversations with my daughter. It’s on a homeschooling literature list for 1st graders. I’m going to have to check out The Family Under the Bridge as I haven’t heard of that one.
I also recommend Ron Lieber’s book “The Opposite of Spoiled: Raising Kids Who Are Grounded, Generous, and Smart About Money.”
Melanie of MindfullySpent.com says
I think it’s also important to teach intergenerational causes of poverty, like the redlining practices that kept some families from accumulating assets that could help future generations be stable and successful. I found some great videos on YouTube on this topic. As the rare person who has been able to dramatically change social classes, I also think it’s important to talk about how little social mobility actually occurs and about how people born into poverty might lack skills considered basic by those in higher socio-economic classes. The water that many swim in that seems obvious isn’t obvious to those raised differently. I enjoyed this piece a lot. Especially it’s foc on empathy. Thank you!!